I've read more than a few slasher flicks lately and most of them have unfortunately been crap. I enjoy a good horror film as much as the next guy, but the problem with a lot of horror specs is that they get so formulaic when they involve a slasher killer. Here are a few of the more common tropes that pop up in the first acts of the weaker, more generic specs.
A disposable kill to start the film - Usually the writers in question are sharp enough to know that a good horror film has to start with a bang. The problem is that this early kill - which serves the purpose of establishing for the audience that there's a madman on the loose - rarely exhibits much imagination on the part of the writer. Most of the time it involves a cannon fodder character wandering around in the film's main setting. (For example: If we're dealing with one of those films where the killer stalks a bunch of campers in the woods, then the first scene has our walking target walking through the woods before getting killed.)
The most common mistake made in amateur scripts is that usually this victim has little to no connection to any of the other characters, and in bad scripts, this death isn't integral to the plot at all. It's just there to tell the audience "Killer on the loose." It's always better if you can make this scene motivate the story, and somehow set the plot into motion. For instance, Scream avoids this problem by using Drew Barrymore's murder as the catalyst for the police questioning everyone at school, establishing how Drew's character and her boyfriend are connected to the main cast, and setting up the motif of the killer. (In bad scripts, the slasher merely jumps out of the shadows and kills.)
20 pages of boredom - The hack writer assumes that since they've spent the first 5 pages setting up the killer, that they can spend the next 20 pages slowly introducing their large cast of characters as they go about their mundane lives before setting up the next kill around page 30. The worst script I read recently had one group of four teens killed while skinny dipping on the first ten pages. Then they introduced another group of six teens heading out for another camping trip. This involved five pages of the teens assembling for their trip. Ten pages of them on their road trip, which mostly consisted of smoking pot and arguing over pop culture, and then ten pages of them setting up camp - seven of which were preoccupied with the girls stripping down and skinny-dipping.
How much of that turned out to be essential to the story? None. Zero. Zilch. The only point that had any significance was that Prude Girl hadn't yet slept with Nice Guy and that neither of them were sure it was a good idea to do it on this trip. Naturally Slutty Girl and Tool Guy were advocating this hookup, while Soon-to-be-Topless Girl and Dead Guy #1 (spoiler alert) don't understand why they just didn't do it in the Jeep on the way out to the woods.
I know... I'm bored too. Just imagine twenty pages of this drivel.
Anyway, my point is that the movie could have just as easily started with Dead Guy #1's death rather than Anonymous Cannon Fodder's death and the impact on the script would have been zero, save for the fact that it would now be twenty pages shorter.
So take this lesson. Act One's are not the place to kill time. The story starts on p. 1 - not on p. 30
Movies by hacks about people who get hacked (up)
I've read more than a few slasher flicks lately and most of them have unfortunately been crap. I enjoy a good horror film as much as the next guy, but the problem with a lot of horror specs is that they get so formulaic when they involve a slasher killer. Here are a few of the more common tropes that pop up in the first acts of the weaker, more generic specs.
A disposable kill to start the film - Usually the writers in question are sharp enough to know that a good horror film has to start with a bang. The problem is that this early kill - which serves the purpose of establishing for the audience that there's a madman on the loose - rarely exhibits much imagination on the part of the writer. Most of the time it involves a cannon fodder character wandering around in the film's main setting. (For example: If we're dealing with one of those films where the killer stalks a bunch of campers in the woods, then the first scene has our walking target walking through the woods before getting killed.)
The most common mistake made in amateur scripts is that usually this victim has little to no connection to any of the other characters, and in bad scripts, this death isn't integral to the plot at all. It's just there to tell the audience "Killer on the loose." It's always better if you can make this scene motivate the story, and somehow set the plot into motion. For instance, Scream avoids this problem by using Drew Barrymore's murder as the catalyst for the police questioning everyone at school, establishing how Drew's character and her boyfriend are connected to the main cast, and setting up the motif of the killer. (In bad scripts, the slasher merely jumps out of the shadows and kills.)
20 pages of boredom - The hack writer assumes that since they've spent the first 5 pages setting up the killer, that they can spend the next 20 pages slowly introducing their large cast of characters as they go about their mundane lives before setting up the next kill around page 30. The worst script I read recently had one group of four teens killed while skinny dipping on the first ten pages. Then they introduced another group of six teens heading out for another camping trip. This involved five pages of the teens assembling for their trip. Ten pages of them on their road trip, which mostly consisted of smoking pot and arguing over pop culture, and then ten pages of them setting up camp - seven of which were preoccupied with the girls stripping down and skinny-dipping.
How much of that turned out to be essential to the story? None. Zero. Zilch. The only point that had any significance was that Prude Girl hadn't yet slept with Nice Guy and that neither of them were sure it was a good idea to do it on this trip. Naturally Slutty Girl and Tool Guy were advocating this hookup, while Soon-to-be-Topless Girl and Dead Guy #1 (spoiler alert) don't understand why they just didn't do it in the Jeep on the way out to the woods.
I know... I'm bored too. Just imagine twenty pages of this drivel.
Anyway, my point is that the movie could have just as easily started with Dead Guy #1's death rather than Anonymous Cannon Fodder's death and the impact on the script would have been zero, save for the fact that it would now be twenty pages shorter.
So take this lesson. Act One's are not the place to kill time. The story starts on p. 1 - not on p. 30
A disposable kill to start the film - Usually the writers in question are sharp enough to know that a good horror film has to start with a bang. The problem is that this early kill - which serves the purpose of establishing for the audience that there's a madman on the loose - rarely exhibits much imagination on the part of the writer. Most of the time it involves a cannon fodder character wandering around in the film's main setting. (For example: If we're dealing with one of those films where the killer stalks a bunch of campers in the woods, then the first scene has our walking target walking through the woods before getting killed.)
The most common mistake made in amateur scripts is that usually this victim has little to no connection to any of the other characters, and in bad scripts, this death isn't integral to the plot at all. It's just there to tell the audience "Killer on the loose." It's always better if you can make this scene motivate the story, and somehow set the plot into motion. For instance, Scream avoids this problem by using Drew Barrymore's murder as the catalyst for the police questioning everyone at school, establishing how Drew's character and her boyfriend are connected to the main cast, and setting up the motif of the killer. (In bad scripts, the slasher merely jumps out of the shadows and kills.)
20 pages of boredom - The hack writer assumes that since they've spent the first 5 pages setting up the killer, that they can spend the next 20 pages slowly introducing their large cast of characters as they go about their mundane lives before setting up the next kill around page 30. The worst script I read recently had one group of four teens killed while skinny dipping on the first ten pages. Then they introduced another group of six teens heading out for another camping trip. This involved five pages of the teens assembling for their trip. Ten pages of them on their road trip, which mostly consisted of smoking pot and arguing over pop culture, and then ten pages of them setting up camp - seven of which were preoccupied with the girls stripping down and skinny-dipping.
How much of that turned out to be essential to the story? None. Zero. Zilch. The only point that had any significance was that Prude Girl hadn't yet slept with Nice Guy and that neither of them were sure it was a good idea to do it on this trip. Naturally Slutty Girl and Tool Guy were advocating this hookup, while Soon-to-be-Topless Girl and Dead Guy #1 (spoiler alert) don't understand why they just didn't do it in the Jeep on the way out to the woods.
I know... I'm bored too. Just imagine twenty pages of this drivel.
Anyway, my point is that the movie could have just as easily started with Dead Guy #1's death rather than Anonymous Cannon Fodder's death and the impact on the script would have been zero, save for the fact that it would now be twenty pages shorter.
So take this lesson. Act One's are not the place to kill time. The story starts on p. 1 - not on p. 30
Weekly Rundown
Jessica Hall. JESSICA HALL! Back again, now with click-able links! We decided to bring this outfit into the present day. Lots of adaptation-type news. This Rothman pitch sounds kinda interesting. A comedy-horror set in deep space? Can't say it's not original. The rest of the stuff doesn't complete me unfortunately. :(
Universal picked up a pitch from writer Rodney Rothman for mid-six-figures. THE SOMETHING is described as an ensemble comedy/horror hybrid set in deep space. While this is Rothman’s first solo writing gig, he has several other projects around town and made his start as the youngest head writer in the history of "Late Night With David Letterman.”
Nick Pustay (RAMONA AND BEEZUS) will adapt the first book in Maggie Stiefvater’s YA series, SHIVER. Story centers on a bittersweet paranormal romance between a teen who becomes a wolf each winter and his girlfriend, who helps him find the secret to staying human.
VLAD, the re-imagining of the Dracula myth, will be rewritten by Scott Kosar (THE MACHINIST), shepherded by director Anthony Mandler. Actor Charlie Hunnam (SONS OF ANARCHY) wrote the original draft. Brad Pitt’s Plan B is producing for Summit.
Mike Newell (PRINCE OF PERSIA) will write and direct an untitled project about the mysterious death of former KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko. He’s working with 2009 Black List writer David Scarpa (LONDONGRAD). Project is set up at Warner Bros.
Hoping for a new franchise, Ralph Winter and Terry Botwick acquired the rights to Dean Koontz’s “Frankenstein” series. Project places the doctor -- a socially prominent and successful businessman -- and his super-human original creation in modern-day New Orleans. No writer has been announced.
Oscar nominated writer Geoffrey Fletcher (PRECIOUS) will write an untitled project about the true story of the 1971 Attica state prison rebellion in which 32 inmates and 10 hostages were killed. Doug Liman (JUMPER) will direct.
Writer David Scinto (SEXY BEAST) will make his directorial debut with NIGHT FLOWER. Ray Winstone has signed on to star.
Kevin Lima (ENCHANTED) will direct AVON MAN, written by Kevin Bisch from his pitch. Fox bought the project as a vehicle for Hugh Jackman, who plays a man who loses his job as a car salesman and becomes a successful Avon salesman.
Oscar nominated writer Oren Moverman (THE MESSENGER) will polish and direct ALL APOLOGIES, the Kurt Cobain biopic. David Benioff (BROTHERS) wrote the current draft for Universal.
Playtone producers Gary Goetzman and Tom Hanks are currently out to writers for the remake of the French film SUMMER HOURS. Pic tells the story of three children letting go of their childhood as their dying mother's home is evacuated of their belongings.
Universal picked up a pitch from writer Rodney Rothman for mid-six-figures. THE SOMETHING is described as an ensemble comedy/horror hybrid set in deep space. While this is Rothman’s first solo writing gig, he has several other projects around town and made his start as the youngest head writer in the history of "Late Night With David Letterman.”
Nick Pustay (RAMONA AND BEEZUS) will adapt the first book in Maggie Stiefvater’s YA series, SHIVER. Story centers on a bittersweet paranormal romance between a teen who becomes a wolf each winter and his girlfriend, who helps him find the secret to staying human.
VLAD, the re-imagining of the Dracula myth, will be rewritten by Scott Kosar (THE MACHINIST), shepherded by director Anthony Mandler. Actor Charlie Hunnam (SONS OF ANARCHY) wrote the original draft. Brad Pitt’s Plan B is producing for Summit.
Mike Newell (PRINCE OF PERSIA) will write and direct an untitled project about the mysterious death of former KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko. He’s working with 2009 Black List writer David Scarpa (LONDONGRAD). Project is set up at Warner Bros.
Hoping for a new franchise, Ralph Winter and Terry Botwick acquired the rights to Dean Koontz’s “Frankenstein” series. Project places the doctor -- a socially prominent and successful businessman -- and his super-human original creation in modern-day New Orleans. No writer has been announced.
Oscar nominated writer Geoffrey Fletcher (PRECIOUS) will write an untitled project about the true story of the 1971 Attica state prison rebellion in which 32 inmates and 10 hostages were killed. Doug Liman (JUMPER) will direct.
Writer David Scinto (SEXY BEAST) will make his directorial debut with NIGHT FLOWER. Ray Winstone has signed on to star.
Kevin Lima (ENCHANTED) will direct AVON MAN, written by Kevin Bisch from his pitch. Fox bought the project as a vehicle for Hugh Jackman, who plays a man who loses his job as a car salesman and becomes a successful Avon salesman.
Oscar nominated writer Oren Moverman (THE MESSENGER) will polish and direct ALL APOLOGIES, the Kurt Cobain biopic. David Benioff (BROTHERS) wrote the current draft for Universal.
Playtone producers Gary Goetzman and Tom Hanks are currently out to writers for the remake of the French film SUMMER HOURS. Pic tells the story of three children letting go of their childhood as their dying mother's home is evacuated of their belongings.
Safe House
Genre: Spy-Thriller
Premise: (from IMDB) When a group of villains destroy a CIA-operated safe house, the facility's young house-sitter must work to move the criminal who's being hidden there to another secure location.
About: This is a first time spec sale for David Guggenheim, but he’s not a complete foreigner to the business. David is a senior editor at US Weekly and, as Variety is reporting, the brother of Marc Guggenheim, one of FlashForward’s early showrunners. His other brother, Eric Guggenheim, may have given him some tips, as he’s a screenwriter himself, penning the 2004 film, “Miracle.” This particular spec sale is noteworthy as it’s the first big sale of the year (selling for 600k) and doing so without any talent attached. Between approving photos of whale-esque Kirstie Alley and Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, Guggenheim has another project he’s developing with McG titled, “Medallion.” Universal nabbed the spec after a multi-studio bidding war. Scott Stuber (The Wolfman) will produce.
Writer: David Guggenheim
Details: 111 pages (undated)
Matt Weston is an eager 28 year old worker for the CIA living in Rio De Janeiro with a Brazillian beauty who puts Matthew McConaughey’s baby mamma to shame. I say “worker” because he’s not quite an agent yet. In fact, Matt is barely above Ace Ventura on the company totem pole, relegated to the job of a “housekeeper” at a safe house. What this entails is hanging out at a special CIA approved "apartment" all day, awaiting any CIA agents who need a place to crash – sort of like a hotel room where you know you’re not going to be killed in the middle of the night (well, as we’ll learn, not even that is guaranteed).
On the other side of town is Tobin Frost, a 55 year old ex-CIA field officer. Imagine Jason Bourne in 20 years. That’s this guy. But Frost has gone off the grid for over a decade, and is believed to be selling CIA intel to anyone with a Swiss Bank Account or some juicy intel of their own. He’s apparently hit the motherload, as the latest information he’s acquired has him hunted by a lethal assassin named Emile Vargas. Frost may have been able to handle this guy a quarter of a century ago, but even the best have to admit when they need help. Problem is, the only nearby help is the very institution he’s betrayed, the American Embassy. So Frost does the unthinkable. He walks right into the Eagle’s Den.
The Americans send Frost over to Matt’s safe house until the CIA can get down here and extract him. But let’s just say Frost won’t have to worry about purchasing the weekly discount. The Safe House is immediately attacked by mercenaries we believe are led by Vargas. Frost and Matt somehow escape, and quickly find themselves on the run. Matt’s given orders to bring Frost to a second [not so] safe house four hours away, but Frost seems to have other plans, namely to get the hell away from Matt and out of Rio.
The script shifts its focus to two things after that: Action and more action. Safe House at times feels like one gigantic action sequence, and I have to admit, it’s written quite well. Guggenheim follows the unwritten spec rule of keeping everything lean and rarely, if ever, burdening us with a 4-line chunk of action. In fact, almost every action description is 2 lines or less, making sure that things read faster than a Shani Davis 200 meter run.
During all this action, we get a nice debate going between the idealistic Matt and the cynical Frost, mainly on the merits of whether it’s worth it to be a CIA agent, but also on Frost’s reasoning for obtaining the information that's gotten him into such hot water. Although Safe House never pretends to be anything more than a high-octane thrill ride, there’s some interesting discussion about idealism and trust, as well as the many shades of gray involved in the spy world. In fact, after a few pow-wows with Frost, Matt starts to wonder if the agency he’s held in such high esteem is as honorable as he once believed.
While the action does get repetitive at times, Guggenheim keeps it fresh with Frost repeatedly escaping Matt, and Matt having to go capture him again. And even though Frost is to Matt as Kobe is to Luke Walton, a nice twist is that Frost was Matt’s case study back at the Farm, so many times, Matt knows where Frost is going to be before he does.
Safe House is a fun spec, but there were a couple of things that bothered me about it. First off, I knew nothing about safe houses going into this script, and I can say that I don’t really know much about them now either. I mean, if you asked me the biggest lesson I learned about safe houses, it would be that they’re not safe at all! Every safe house they go to is breached within minutes. There are obviously extenuating circumstances here, but even taking those into account, from the way these places were described, they seemed to be no different than a local hotel room, except for a CIA officer holding court. I guess I expected them to be more heavily fortified or something. Or have some special qualities. Maybe a better explanation of what these things are in the next draft would be helpful.
I also would’ve liked a few more twists and turns before the final act, and a better explanation for why Frost flipped on the agency. His explanation was a little too general for my taste (his reasoning amounted to that the agency lies too much). A specific event that triggered this decision would make his motivation more personal, and his character deeper and more interesting as a result.
But those things are by no means deal breakers. Like I said, the script is still fast-paced and fun. And the specific reason behind why Frost is being chased plays out to a satisfying conclusion.
So why did it sell? Well, all we can do is speculate, but I’ll give it a shot. It did exactly what we talked about the other day in my article about surprise box office hits. It took a popular plot model, in line with the Bourne films, and added a twist, throwing a bit of a “buddy cop” angle at it. It also told the spy story from a unique perspective, that of the “safe house,” and I don’t think that's been done on the big screen yet.
Safe House is worth the read.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: So lean. People don’t understand why spec scripts have to be so lean. It’s because an unknown to little-known writer is basically given ten pages of leeway before a seasoned reader mentally checks out on them. You have to be lean to survive, to prove to your reader that you won’t burden them with a bunch of unnecessary nonsense. You’re saying right away: Listen buddy, I’m not going to waste your time. I’m keeping it bare-bones. This is never as important as it is in the action genre, where everything has to move FAST. How are you going to convey a fast action script with huge paragraph chunks? Finding a four-line paragraph in this script was like trying to find a salad in New Orleans. Spec scripts gotta be leeeeaaaaan.
Premise: (from IMDB) When a group of villains destroy a CIA-operated safe house, the facility's young house-sitter must work to move the criminal who's being hidden there to another secure location.
About: This is a first time spec sale for David Guggenheim, but he’s not a complete foreigner to the business. David is a senior editor at US Weekly and, as Variety is reporting, the brother of Marc Guggenheim, one of FlashForward’s early showrunners. His other brother, Eric Guggenheim, may have given him some tips, as he’s a screenwriter himself, penning the 2004 film, “Miracle.” This particular spec sale is noteworthy as it’s the first big sale of the year (selling for 600k) and doing so without any talent attached. Between approving photos of whale-esque Kirstie Alley and Tiger Woods’ many mistresses, Guggenheim has another project he’s developing with McG titled, “Medallion.” Universal nabbed the spec after a multi-studio bidding war. Scott Stuber (The Wolfman) will produce.
Writer: David Guggenheim
Details: 111 pages (undated)
Matt Weston is an eager 28 year old worker for the CIA living in Rio De Janeiro with a Brazillian beauty who puts Matthew McConaughey’s baby mamma to shame. I say “worker” because he’s not quite an agent yet. In fact, Matt is barely above Ace Ventura on the company totem pole, relegated to the job of a “housekeeper” at a safe house. What this entails is hanging out at a special CIA approved "apartment" all day, awaiting any CIA agents who need a place to crash – sort of like a hotel room where you know you’re not going to be killed in the middle of the night (well, as we’ll learn, not even that is guaranteed).
On the other side of town is Tobin Frost, a 55 year old ex-CIA field officer. Imagine Jason Bourne in 20 years. That’s this guy. But Frost has gone off the grid for over a decade, and is believed to be selling CIA intel to anyone with a Swiss Bank Account or some juicy intel of their own. He’s apparently hit the motherload, as the latest information he’s acquired has him hunted by a lethal assassin named Emile Vargas. Frost may have been able to handle this guy a quarter of a century ago, but even the best have to admit when they need help. Problem is, the only nearby help is the very institution he’s betrayed, the American Embassy. So Frost does the unthinkable. He walks right into the Eagle’s Den.
The Americans send Frost over to Matt’s safe house until the CIA can get down here and extract him. But let’s just say Frost won’t have to worry about purchasing the weekly discount. The Safe House is immediately attacked by mercenaries we believe are led by Vargas. Frost and Matt somehow escape, and quickly find themselves on the run. Matt’s given orders to bring Frost to a second [not so] safe house four hours away, but Frost seems to have other plans, namely to get the hell away from Matt and out of Rio.
The script shifts its focus to two things after that: Action and more action. Safe House at times feels like one gigantic action sequence, and I have to admit, it’s written quite well. Guggenheim follows the unwritten spec rule of keeping everything lean and rarely, if ever, burdening us with a 4-line chunk of action. In fact, almost every action description is 2 lines or less, making sure that things read faster than a Shani Davis 200 meter run.
During all this action, we get a nice debate going between the idealistic Matt and the cynical Frost, mainly on the merits of whether it’s worth it to be a CIA agent, but also on Frost’s reasoning for obtaining the information that's gotten him into such hot water. Although Safe House never pretends to be anything more than a high-octane thrill ride, there’s some interesting discussion about idealism and trust, as well as the many shades of gray involved in the spy world. In fact, after a few pow-wows with Frost, Matt starts to wonder if the agency he’s held in such high esteem is as honorable as he once believed.
While the action does get repetitive at times, Guggenheim keeps it fresh with Frost repeatedly escaping Matt, and Matt having to go capture him again. And even though Frost is to Matt as Kobe is to Luke Walton, a nice twist is that Frost was Matt’s case study back at the Farm, so many times, Matt knows where Frost is going to be before he does.
Safe House is a fun spec, but there were a couple of things that bothered me about it. First off, I knew nothing about safe houses going into this script, and I can say that I don’t really know much about them now either. I mean, if you asked me the biggest lesson I learned about safe houses, it would be that they’re not safe at all! Every safe house they go to is breached within minutes. There are obviously extenuating circumstances here, but even taking those into account, from the way these places were described, they seemed to be no different than a local hotel room, except for a CIA officer holding court. I guess I expected them to be more heavily fortified or something. Or have some special qualities. Maybe a better explanation of what these things are in the next draft would be helpful.
I also would’ve liked a few more twists and turns before the final act, and a better explanation for why Frost flipped on the agency. His explanation was a little too general for my taste (his reasoning amounted to that the agency lies too much). A specific event that triggered this decision would make his motivation more personal, and his character deeper and more interesting as a result.
But those things are by no means deal breakers. Like I said, the script is still fast-paced and fun. And the specific reason behind why Frost is being chased plays out to a satisfying conclusion.
So why did it sell? Well, all we can do is speculate, but I’ll give it a shot. It did exactly what we talked about the other day in my article about surprise box office hits. It took a popular plot model, in line with the Bourne films, and added a twist, throwing a bit of a “buddy cop” angle at it. It also told the spy story from a unique perspective, that of the “safe house,” and I don’t think that's been done on the big screen yet.
Safe House is worth the read.
[ ] What the hell did I just read?
[ ] wasn’t for me
[x] worth the read
[ ] impressive
[ ] genius
What I learned: So lean. People don’t understand why spec scripts have to be so lean. It’s because an unknown to little-known writer is basically given ten pages of leeway before a seasoned reader mentally checks out on them. You have to be lean to survive, to prove to your reader that you won’t burden them with a bunch of unnecessary nonsense. You’re saying right away: Listen buddy, I’m not going to waste your time. I’m keeping it bare-bones. This is never as important as it is in the action genre, where everything has to move FAST. How are you going to convey a fast action script with huge paragraph chunks? Finding a four-line paragraph in this script was like trying to find a salad in New Orleans. Spec scripts gotta be leeeeaaaaan.
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