Friday Free-for-All: Random Thoughts

Random thoughts on this Friday:

I once read for an executive who legitimately believed that I Know What You did Last Summer was far superior to Scream. That individual no longer works in the industry.

Speaking of Jennifer Love Hewitt, I'm tired of all the bloggers who call her fat. You know they'd still give their left nut just to touch her breasts.

Related topic: wasn't Can't Hardly Wait an awesome film?

Further related topic: You seen Ethan Embry lately? Man, has he gotten huge!

My proposed coverage ratings: PASS, CONSIDER, RECOMMEND, and STOP - JUST STOP!

If a Republican on NBC had to be a front-runner for the Presidential nomination, why couldn't it be Jack Donaghey and not Donald Trump.

Occupational hazard of living in LA: sooner or later, you will make friends with an actress you first saw in the pages of a "lad-mag."

I haven't field-tested this one, but in situations like those above, I'm guessing there's no good conversational segue for "Hey, I saw your FHM spread."

I'd vote for Law & Order's Sam Waterston for President. Just sayin'.

I grew up on Comedy Central reruns of SNL and argue that no cast ever beat the Dana Carvey/Phil Hartman era. Shame they don't run it much in reruns anymore.

I have long subscribed to the belief that Linkin Park sounds like Savage Garden and Will Smith formed a super group. Listen to parts of "Crawling" and "In the End" and tell me you don't hear it.

When I was fifteen, my comic idol was Dennis Miller.

You know what more annoying than people who pull silly April Fool's pranks? People who just HAVE to tell those people, "Oh, you SO didn't fool me! I totally knew that was fake because it was so fakey-fake! I totally didn't fall for it because I'm, like, SO smart!"

The Lauren Graham apple story is absolutely true. I've spoken to witnesses.

Just so that doesn't start any rumors, the apple story is not in any way sexual.

Heck, even Law & Order's Michael Moriarty would be a better Presidential candidate than Trump, and we know he's nuts too!

I enjoyed Roswell when it was on the air, probably more for its potential than what it actually ended up being. I've not revisited since because part of me is scared it'll now play like a lame Twilight rip-off.

Also, never revisit the original Transformers cartoons.

Sometimes when I'm looking down my blog roll, I wonder who'd win in a fight between Amanda the Aspiring Writer and Bamboo Killers' Emily Blake.

Related to that, I'm pretty sure Ken Levine could kick John August's ass.

I once went to a book signing at the Grove just so I could meet Winnie Cooper.

On another occasion at the Grove, I saw an incredibly long line that wound through two floors of the Barnes & Noble and carried down the entire length of the sidewalk. The author in question? TV's Lauren Conrad. I don't have a joke for that... it's just too depressing.

I was recently disturbed when a casting friend told me about meeting a nine year-old actress whose favorite movie was The Dark Knight. (She apparently spoke at length about its themes and all the technical achievements in the film.) Then I remembered that my parents took me to see the first Burton Batman movie in theatres when I was nine... and my brother was seven.

Anyone who watches The Secret Life of the American Teenager unironically should be immediately sterilized so their idiocy maybe removed from the gene pool.

Someday I want to interview Secret Life creator Brenda Hampton just so I can ask her how she can stand to turn out a show with zero production values and redeeming value.

Yes, I'd say that to her face.

You need no further proof of the fact that the Parent Television Council is a group of publicity whores that do nothing but latch onto a trend than the fact that they pounce on Glee every week, but have yet to crucify the ABC Family Channel for Secret Life.

If I change my name to GE, can I avoid paying taxes this weekend?

Seriously, Trump?! Maybe Republicans really ARE that stupid!

Wait, I just remember that they love Michele Bachmann... they've LONG been that stupid.

90% of the scripts on Amazon Studios are incredibly awesome and on a professional level.

The preceding was "not intended to be a factual statement."

The one time I attended an American Idol taping, I ended up on camera.

I once suggested to my wife that when we start having kids that we should name our first son "Kal-El." She both (1) did not react as if I was joking and (2) did not seem especially surprised or disturbed by the idea. I feel I should be concerned about this.

I know everyone claims that Sharon Stone is a nightmare, but I met her once and she was incredibly pleasant and friendly to everyone in the office.

The first season of The John Laroquette Show was an incredibly funny and edgy sitcom. How is it not on DVD yet?

Winter's Bone has sat on my TV stand unwatched for three and a half months now.

As much as I'm glad there's not going to be a Writers' Strike, I was looking forward to networking on the picket lines.

If I channel surf and That Thing You Do is on TV, I will watch it.

Ditto for Bring It On.

My go-to karaoke gimmick is singing "We Didn't Start the Fire" without looking at the lyrics.

If Mr. Belding is at your karaoke bar, you're in the wrong place.

Film students - if your professor ever tells you that the class will be viewing WR's Mysteries of the Organism just get up and run. Trust me, you don't want to know why, but if you did you'd thank me.